Happendance Family in Jennifer Barnes’ Words

About a month ago, a dream of mine came true. The first annual Happendance Family Reunion. A group of 36 folks whose lives have been touched by Happendance came together to reconnect, remember and celebrate the central place Happendance has had on our lives. Jennifer (Palmer) Barnes wrote a beautiful post on her blog about it.

 

It is exciting to see that my passion and gratitude for our beloved organization is shared Jennifer and so many others. You can read more of her posts at: http://heymamaguesswhat.blogspot.com/

Here is an excerpt of what she wrote:

 

I grew up in a small town in Michigan and from a tot I was obsessed with dancing. My mom found a dance studio to try, little did she know we would end up basically living there for the next 15 years. I lived and breathed dance, 6 days a week. Classes, company, rehearsals, teaching. My studio was not your typical dolly dinkle school of dance, we didn’t care about the shiny costumes all my friends were wearing at their recitals because we made ours, we created our own world of exploration in that studio. You see Happendance is about so much more than steps. It’s a place to explore ideas, emotions, events; you name it we danced about it. My mentor, Diane is the type of woman you gravitate towards. She is so committed to her craft, art, and students. She was my guide to finding my love for the stage, for travelling, and a deep passion to go out and affect the world. She left me with a quote around the time of my high school graduation that has been a standing motto of mine since. We were hovered around her in our comfortable circle and she asked us to think about where we wanted to be in our lives in ten years. For me that was easy; dancing with a company and travelling from city to city. I never saw myself truly getting married but I wanted a baby at some point. One that would travel with me and grow up in a dance studio. I know not everyone’s idea of perfect but at the time it was mine. Next she said to forget it, wipe the slate clean. She told us as long as we always “Follow your Bliss” we may not end up where we think we should, but we will end up where we’re meant to be. In the moment it resonated with me but at the same time I never thought I would end up anywhere differently. I have thought of that conversation at every major turning point in my life. It has been a beacon, a guide on how to make decisions. I am so thankful that my mom sought out and believed in such a different approach to dance. She was right there with me until I could finally drive, and even then she was still my biggest supporter.

At 18 I ran to NYC, went to college at Marymount Manhattan College and pursued my career in dance. I was lucky again to find a group of like minded dancers in school and we continued performing together after graduation. Throughout my career these shows were definitely a highlight. Rehearsing in Central Park or a loft in Brooklyn, and performing wherever and whenever we could. It didn’t matter because we were creating art together and we were inspired. I only wish that it was enough to sustain me. I loved every minute of it, but the business side of the industry, among a few things took it’s toll on my love for the art and I started to lose my passion. I went to South Africa with one of the best ladies I have ever had the pleasure of knowing and toured her beautiful country. I was there for 6 weeks and literally road tripped around the country, spent time on her family’s gorgeous farm, touring Kruger Park, sun downers in Cape Town, team USA at the Cape of Good Hope… One of the most incredible journey’s of my life.

One of my most vivid memories on the trip is of the sky. It was huge, no gigantic, actually I don’t think there’s a word for it. It went from your toes on the left, overhead, and all the way down to the toes on your right.Now maybe because I had been living in New York for 8 years that any sky would be huge, but even so I was in awe and was struck by the enormity of it. I truly felt so tiny in this world, so insignificant. That trip, I realized how unhappy I had really been and knew I needed to make a change. Within the year, I would leave New York. Anyone who knew me at the time, was in utter shock upon my revelation and ultimately my decision. I worked hard, held numerous jobs to fight for my dream, and had no intention of going anywhere anytime soon. Back from Africa and my whole world was shifted upside down. I knew I needed to follow where my heart was telling me to go. The hardest part was leaving the family we had created there. I moved to Chicago at the end of the year. I meant to only take a short break from dancing. To “find out who I was without it”. But the truth is I don’t think I ever had any intention of going back. Not at that time.

It’s been more than a few years since that coming of age moment of my youth, and of course she was right. The picture I had painted for myself doesn’t exist, and I am thankful for that. I am married to my best friend and partner in life. We have a beautiful family and are just starting our journey together. These are the sweet years that I know one day I will long for again.

I went home recently for a reunion my studio, Happendance was having. I struggled about going, 3 kids — 4 year old b/g twins and a 10 month old, I live far away, we were in the midst of moving, yada yada. This has been a tough year for my family, and I’m tired and a bit drained to be honest. In spite of all that, I felt compelled to go, I couldn’t imagine missing it. It worked out that my husband would be busy working all weekend and I haven’t been home since Christmas, so I was due. I took my oldest daughter to see the current students perform at Jazz Fest (to say she loves to dance is an understatement. “She doesn’t walk thru life, she dances” to quote my husband.) At the reunion I was so happy to see a few old friends and of course Diane. Many gave testimonials that felt as if they were reading a page from my own heart. I felt a sense of community and family in a way that I haven’t felt very often. On a side note, anyone that has a child interested in dance in the Lansing and surrounding areas, please head this way. You will be giving your child an incredible gift. The new CEO, Missy Lilije, is someone I am honored to say I danced for and with. I couldn’t think of a better person to succeed Diane. She has the same level of commitment, drive, and talent to grow Happendance and continue evoking change in peoples lives.

I read this blog titled Am I a dancer who gave up? right before I went to the reunion. In it the girl talks about a young student asking her if she had any breakdowns when she gave up on her dreams? Ugh, pretty harsh and it cut thru me to the core. I have definitely struggled at times with my decision to walk away. But I loved her answer to that question and it changed the way I view myself. It has been many years since I was on a professional stage but I am still a dancer, I always will be. I looked around to the women before me, that I only knew as girls, and I was so proud to be apart of that group. There is a business owner whose an artist, a teacher, a doctor, a director, a mom. All artists trained to go out into the world and do things differently. I left with a renewed energy and desire to approach life the way I know in my heart I want it to be. The world needs full time moms, ones that are artists too.

It’s been nearly 10 years since I was in South Africa and came upon a fork in the road. I am so glad that I listened to that beacon and followed my bliss without knowing what that was. I am far more blessed than I could ever have dreamed of. I am ready to own that now and to pursue life as a mom who’s also an artist, wherever that may lead.

One of Our Own, SelbyDance!

One of our own professionals has been moonlighting in a very impressive way. Many of you may know Danielle Selby as the powerful and expressive member of the Happendance Professional Company, or as the soft-spoken Happendance School instructor that makes you sweat like crazy in her classes, or as the organized assistant working in our office. With all of that it might be hard to believe that she is artistic director of her own professional modern dance company, based in New York, called SelbyDance.

SelbyDance has received grants and critical acclaim all over the country as they have toured extensively. For the past week SelbyDance has been the first company-in-residence that we’ve ever had as part of our Community Dance Project. Danielle and her dancers have been rehearsing and leading workshops all week. They will kick off their up coming national tour this Tuesday, right here in East Lansing!

Catch their last class this Monday at Advanced Modern ($13 drop in rate for non enrolled students).

Come to their show and support the Arts in Lansing!  7pm “Our Beaten Path” and 8:30pm “Menagerie of the Uneven Minds” both shows will be at SCENE MetroSpace in East Lansing. (Tickets are $5 at the door.)

Markus Shields: World-Class!

Above you can see Markus Shields teaching a private lesson with three 9-year-olds. He’s teaching them a dance called, “Big Girl Swag”. Last Saturday the Happendance Family marveled as he taught a marathon 9-hour set of master classes culminating in a performance and Q and A session.

By all accounts he is a master dancer and choreographer. But, more than that, I was thrilled to see what a fantastic teacher he is. By taking time to closely observe each student, analyse their dancing and offer detailed imagery to help them achieve the essence of his movement style, he allowed real learning and growth to occur for everyone involved. (Even an observer like me!) Many master class instructors do not offer the energy it takes to invest in the students this way… especially if they are teaching for more than a couple of hours at a time. It is so much easier just to demonstrate, watch as the dancers imitate and leave it at that. And, a good student will be able to learn nonetheless.

But, Markus demonstrated a true generosity and care for all 9 hours of his teaching at Happendance last Saturday, making for a deeply rich and transformative experience. And he was willing and able to do this for every type of student. For the 9-year-old dancers pictured above he was kind, patient and nurturing. For the dancers who were new to his style, he was respectful and articulate. For the dancers who were very experienced in hip-hop, he was able to challenge them. And, for all of us he was able to inspire. He represents the best that the dance field has to offer and we’re lucky to know him.

We will look forward to hopefully working with him for a long time to come! Thank you, Markus!

H2: A Vehicle for Self-Knowledge

Under the direction of Lisa Whiting Dobson, the H2 of the 2013-14 season will include at least 21 empowered young dancers who will learn 14-20 new works by several accomplished contemporary, jazz, hip-hop, and wold dance choreographers as they perform in 7 venues throughout the area.

And, before I go any further, I must thank Dave Grist for these amazing photos! Thanks again, Dave for all you do for us here at Happendance!

Our founder, Diane Newman, once told me that when she opened Newman Dance Theater (known currently as Happendance School) she intended it to be a place for the promotion of self-knowledge where dance would be the vehicle. For me, and a thousand other graduates of Diane’s school, this is a perfect description of what it was for us. Taking the time every class to delve into the workings of one’s own body, to push it hard, to sweat, to work through soreness, to take risks, to think hard, to collaborate, to create new thoughts and bring them into the world for the first time… These are the experiential practices that we were allowed to have here at Happendance School.

But, I still wanted more. When I was a serious dance student, back in the early 1990’s, there was only one option in the Lansing area for pre-professional dance training, and that was Children’s Ballet Theater of Michigan. I was lucky to be able to have the opportunity to train there in addition to Happendance School. Performing in such large-scale productions in a venue like the Wharton Center was incredibly valuable and I’m so grateful for it. However, I still wanted more. I knew I would never be a professional ballet dancer, but I believed my destiny was to be a professional modern dancer. But, where could I get extra pre-professional training in that type of dance?

I did the best I could by going to summer workshops and master classes whenever possible to supplement the top-notch modern dance training I was getting at Happendance School. And I did end up becoming a professional modern dancer. So, it all turned out well.

However, when I came back to Michigan to work for Happendance in the fall of 2006, I saw an opportunity to create a space where Diane’s “promotion of self-knowledge through dance” could be developed even further through a new type of student company. I thought these dancers could learn two pieces and perform them with the Happendance Professional Company in the annual formal concert in 2007. Upon Diane’s approval Happendance 2 or H2 was born! We had 5 dancers and met once a week for 5  months to prepare for the formal concert as well as the Happendance School Spring Concert. We worked on learning choreography,  improvising, team-building, group problem-solving, and discussions about identity and leadership.

Our dancers blossomed and grew, many of them becoming dance majors at the colleges of their first choice. Others going on to major in fields that ignited their passions. All with a sense of purpose as they moved into the world.

To all of the H2 dancers, past and present, WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU!!!

The Best Lesson I Learned At Happendance

Ask any Happendance School student what they learned there and you will get well-articulated answers that become more broad and complex with age. For example, a 3-year-old student answered this question just last month by popping into a fabulous upside-down shape with her nimble and flexible little body. Older dancers from composition classes have talked about the ability to improvise and then catalogue and organize their thoughts, expressing them through movement. Still other HD students have spoken about how Happendance taught them how to get into the college of their dreams.

 Personally, I have been studying at Happendance since I was 7 years old (30 years and counting!) and expressed similar sentiments along the way. However, I find it stunning that some lessons I learned here at Happendance School have lain dormant for decades. Like seeds planted long, long ago that just needed the right amount of time and the right set of circumstances to bring them to life. For example here is the most profound:

 Feedback is a gift: The notion that one might actually welcome feedback is extremely powerful. For many, the experience of being criticized can be deeply painful. It can feel like an indication of that awful feeling that “I’m not good enough.” But, in my dance classes at Happendance, I learned how to crave corrections from my teachers because I wanted to become better. I trusted Diane and Kay and believed that they were on my side and that they shared that common goal with me. They wanted to help me become better too.

 Accepting feedback from people you know and trust is great, but what about the rest of the world? What about strangers who judge and criticize you? Or worse yet, what about people that you respect or know of… what if they might view you harshly? Is there a way to allow them to make you better? The answer is yes!!! Diane taught this to me when I was getting ready to go away to a summer workshop. With regard to the famous teachers I was about to study with, she said, “They’re just people like you and me, nothing more. You have the choice to take the constructive comments and leave behind all the rest. You are the same dancer regardless of how they, or anyone else might see you.”

 It only took a few seconds for my mentor to utter these words. And it took 90 minutes for me to go through my first class with a dancer from the Martha Graham Dance Company with these words in mind. The relaxed sense of confidence it gave me was immediately palpable. It’s hard to explain how it has followed me throughout my entire life in every facet, how it has deepened and continues to serve me. It keeps me grounded, keeps my ego in check and allows me to keep getting better at whatever I’m working on: choreography, directing, friendship, marriage, graduate thesis, new CEO job and on and on. Whenever I feel like my work or my personality or my philosophies are on display, I feel vulnerable and worried that I might not be good enough. But, then I remember that every time I feel exposed like that, there is an opportunity to grow and get better if I can take the constructive and leave the rest. I can view this as feedback from fellow human beings and I can use it to my advantage!

To present yourself and then stand up and welcome scrutiny can be a vulnerable and yet powerful experience. In my case, this is the most powerful concept in my professional and personal life. Thanks Diane!! Thanks Happendance!!!

SYTYCD Star coming to Happendance on July 6

It is always surreal for me to see someone I know on TV… Or, for that matter, someone I’ve seen only on TV suddenly in person. For example, Nate Crawford is one of our Happendance family members. How fun it was  to watch as he performed for President Obama’s Inaugural ball on a major network. 

Daniel Bernard Roumain, someone I knew from my days at U of M, popped up on stage with Lady Gaga on American Idol a few years ago. (I almost choked on my popcorn!) 

Then there was the time that Billy Bell came to teach my High Intermediate Modern Class at Happendance. That seemed crazy… and wonderful!

Heck, even when I buy a ticket to see a live show where someone famous is 100 feet away from me, but still in the same building… that feels strange.

There’s something about the media that seems so obviously separate from real life. It’s supposed to be like that. We’re supposed to be able to escape, dream, relax and wind down by watching things on TV that are meant to be entertaining, and different from the ordinary. So, for a person like me who doesn’t work in the media, it is very strange when that type of creation collides with my day-to-day life. Strange, and super exciting.

Early this past spring, a dancer/choreographer/teacher named Markus Shields contacted Happendance. He sent his headshot, bio and a link to a really great video. He was interested in setting up a workshop with us. He was very professional and fast to follow up. 

So when I saw him on “So You Think You Can Dance” a few weeks ago, making it through Vegas week, I had another choke-on-my-popcorn moment. He was awesome on the show! So smooth, mature and smart. I was sure we would make the top 20. It was heart-breaking to watch the episode where he was told that he would not be continuing (for the second time! UGH!) I had never met the guy, and I cared so much about that TV show in that moment, I think I actually cried.

My biggest comfort though, was that knowledge that now we could plan for him to come to Happendance and create many more surreal experiences for our Happendance family members by teaching, performing and engaging with us for a full day at our studio. 

The big day is July 6. There are private lesson opportunities, three workshops to choose from, a chance to perform with him, and interview him or just watch. It’s all very reasonably priced too. Check it out on the front page of our website: happendance.org

Let’s have a surreal and super exciting experience together. See you on the 6th!

Joyce Diane Brittenham Bischoff

Joyce Bischoff. This name is like music to my ears. This is the name of my mother. The one who knows me better than I know myself and better than anyone else on this earth. People often say that we sound alike and look alike and I know it. I’m lucky because she is beautiful in voice and spirit and, let’s face it, in looks 🙂

She was born in Fort Wayne, Indiana in the early 40’s and grew up in a loving and fun atmosphere. The middle child and only daughter, she fought a constant battle with asthma and with her younger brother, Steve. From an early age, she loved performing. Singing became her main thing. (She insists that she can’t dance, but I’ve seen quite a bit of evidence to the contrary. If you want to see what I mean, just put her in the same room with some Souza march music or the “Mama Mia” soundtrack. She’ll get her groove on, guaranteed.)

Her mom and dad were good Christians and ahead of their time when it came to their views on race and accepting differences. And though they never went to college, her parents felt it was very important for their three children to get their degrees.

Joyce’s dreams were set on a classical vocal performance career. There are stories of numerous recitals, even one at Detroit’s Cobo Hall! But, that all ended when she had her tonsils removed when she was sixteen. Apparently, back then it was very difficult not to severely damage vocal chords during that type of surgery. So, her dream had to change.

She tried nursing. Everyone seemed to think she would make a great nurse… that is everyone except for her. Despite her doubts, Joyce graduated from nurse’s training and passed her state boards. She then spent a summer working at at hospital in Espanola, New Mexico and was a nervous wreck the whole time. (There’s another story about how she had to give a very thin man and very huge shot, right in his back side. As you can guess, that didn’t go very well.)

Since nursing wasn’t exactly her thing, music got a second chance in her life. She went to Indiana Central College (now the University of Indianapolis) and majored in music. (There is this great story about how she always had a hard time with her piano requirement. And, at one of her jury exams she was so nervous, her fingers turned blue and shaky. She tried to play the piece the best she could, but when she asked the judge if he wanted to hear the repeat, he said, “Hell no!” That had to sting, but she laughs about it now.)

After that she decided to go back to school and get a Master’s Degree in Child Development with certification to teach mentally impaired. She ended up at Michigan State University which was an incredible departure from her small Christian college days in Indiana. 

My mother doesn’t drink, has never smoked anything, never curses or speaks badly of someone else. For crying out loud! She told me that she didn’t even think people should french kiss until after they’re married!!! Can you imagine a person like her on a huge college campus during the late 1960’s???? Well, there she was. Living in Owen Graduate Dormitory with a roommate who enjoyed going to the bar and meeting new men. 

In fact, this is how my dad, Jim, came into the picture. Joyce’s roommate met Jim at a bar. (He loved drinking and smoking. You’ll hear more about him in a special post,entitled, “Jimmie Jerry Bischoff”.) She really liked him until he stood up and she realized she was taller than he was. Jim and Joyce’s destiny was sealed when Joyce’s roommate thought Jim and Joyce would be a good match since they were both short. Never mind that fact that she was a tea-totaling, small-town Christian and he was a big-city, smoking, drinking ex-sailor. No, they were both vertically challenged, so they must be perfect for each other… Maybe this is where the thing about accepting differences came in handy from Joyce’s parents.

Anyway, they met in the lobby of Owen Graduate Dormitory. She came galloping down the stairs in a tight sweater (dad says it was tight, she swears it wasn’t.) He says that he never saw anything like her before. “She was like an elderly person in a young person’s body,” he says. I’m not quite sure what that means, but whatever, he liked it.

They spent the next two weeks staying up until 5am talking every night. And at the end of that two weeks, they got engaged… I’ll say that again. THEY GOT ENGAGED TWO WEEKS AFTER THEY MET!!!! Can you imagine? I mean, many people  don’t speak to their parents for two weeks at a time!

“I haven’t talked to you in a couple of week, daughter. Anything new?”

“Uh, yeah… I’m engaged.”

“What?! Wow! That’s great! It must be that Tom guy you were dating before. I knew he’d come to his senses and pop the question.”

“Well, uh, no it’s not Tom. His name is Jim and he’s a smoking drinking, ex-sailor who I just met a matter of days ago and I want to spend the rest of my life with him.”

Crazy as that sounds, no one seemed to have a problem with that and they were married inside of six months. That just seems so STUPID to me. I mean, one of them could have easily been a serial killer, or at least an abuser. But, I guess I shouldn’t judge because 45 years later there they are, the cutest pair who love travel and go to shows and fall asleep in front of the TV together.

So, they ended up living in married housing and both finishing degrees related to special education. Mom had a long career as a special education teacher and focused mostly on young children. She retired after 30 years only to continue to work full time at as Parent Educator first for the State of Michigan and now for Clinton County.

She has one of the hungriest minds I’ve ever seen. She is constantly passionately reading and learning about the latest in early childhood brain development and also loves reading and discussing religious, spiritual and political topics. She is a tough lady who has been through a lot. And has no problem engaging in confrontational dialogue (that I would be scared to death of) with a sophisticated sense of poise and respect. She is a leader and an organizer who volunteers waaaaaaaay too much.

Some of my favorite memories of her include waking up on Saturday mornings to the sound of her beautiful singing voice, wafting up the stairs as she practiced songs for church the next day (Her voice eventually recovered from the tonsilectomy.) I love the way she always had activities for us to do, like making magnets for the fridge. I think it’s great that she used to make me talk to her, no matter how much I didn’t want to in my tweens. And, I’ll never forget the day when I was 15 and upset about something and I had this revelation, “Well, I could probably just talk to my mom about that.” 

Today, I think that is my favorite thing to do with her… just talk. She has so many interesting things to share from all of her constant learning. And, of course she will listen tirelessly to anything and everything I have to say.

She is always there. A steady and sturdy rock. An unending spring of warmth and love. And I am so lucky to be able to call her my role-model, my friend and my mom.